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How to Set the Groundwork for a Successful Marriage

Elliott Connie | October 22, 2009

The newlywed phase of marriage is one that most couples truly relish. There’s just something exciting about the early stages of marriage that propels recently-hitched couples into the most idealistic of mindsets, causing them to walk around with an air of hope and unadulterated happiness. Of course, this seemingly endless romantic period tends to kick off with the honeymoon itself. Whether it involved taking in the sights of Europe or sunbathing on a Hawaiian beach, the honeymoon was a time to relax, recover from the madness of wedding planning, and reflect on the future together.

Of course, the one downside to that newlywed phase is the “don’t expect it to last” mantra that jaded couples like to throw around, perhaps to compensate for their own lack of passion. However, the newlywed stage is one that can be maintained throughout the span of a marriage. All it takes is the proper attitude and way of thinking.

According to licensed professional counselor Elliott Connie, are faced with a fantastic opportunity to set the groundwork for a successful marriage. However, must promise to continue to do the one thing that makes that phase of the marriage so special — talk about the future in a hopeful way. The great thing about the newlywed stage of marriage is that it represents a lifetime of potential happiness ahead. The first year of marriage tends to be rooted not only in intimacy and exploration, but in enthusiasm. In fact, starting with the actual honeymoon, spouses are given the opportunity to feed off each other’s enthusiasm to create an amazing bond. The best way to maintain that bond is to remember that the idea of a hopeful future helped lead to those passionate feelings in the first place.

When you stop to think about why the honeymoon is such a wonderful time, you’ll realize that it’s probably not because of that wonderful sand beach, it’s because you and your spouse found yourselves at a point in time where the future was wide open and full of endless possibilities. Your life as a unit was essentially a blank canvas, and one upon which you could learn to paint together. When you look back at those honeymoon photos and notice the glint in each other’s eyes, you should remember why you both looked so happy. Was it because you just hiked up the side of a waterfall, or was it because you shared a moment of adventure while realizing how many more similar adventures you’d be able to enjoy together down the line? Sure, the answer might be a little bit of both, but as long as you make an effort to remember that feeling of having a lifetime of happiness in front of you, you’ll be setting the framework for many fulfilling years of marriage to come.

As , you should focus on the positive while preparing for the wonderful journey that you have ahead of you. Remember that people tend to evolve over time, so get to know your partner for the person he is today, but promise to grow curious about the person he becomes over the years. Finally, realize that passion doesn’t have to fade, and that enthusiasm doesn’t have to dissolve as the years go by. You should always look forward to the future and be thankful for the fact that you both get to share it together.

About Elliott Connie

Author Name

Elliott Connie is a licensed professional counselor in Texas and the author of The Art of Solution Focused Therapy. He focuses on couples, family and substance abuse counseling in his private practice in Keller, TX. He received his BA and masters degrees at Texas Wesleyan University and is currently a PhD student in Family Therapy at Texas Woman’s University.

Elliott E. Connie, MA, LPC

(817) 412-7452
1660 Keller Parkway Suite# 103 Keller, TX 76248 http://www.elliottconnie.net

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