Some children find it difficult to let go of their parents in unfamiliar situations. Nancy Kahn Scott, owner/operator of the My Gym Children’s Fitness Center in Palm Desert, California, says it’s not always necessary to throw your clingy child into the deep end – it just takes time and patience…
Just about every parent remembers a time when their child was clingy. For some parents, this was just a phase that lasted anywhere from a few days to a few weeks. For others, clinginess was something that seemingly went on for months – and made life frustrating for both parent and child.
We occasionally see clingy children at My Gym, and while we want every child to be as happy and secure as possible, we understand that sticking to Mom or Dad is not always ideal. Still, throwing your child in the deep end and expecting him to “snap out of it” is not always realistic.
One thing we suggest at My Gym is to consider keeping your child in a parent-participation program. Do not force him away from your side. Rather, get involved the activities yourself. Keep him close and praise him for all participation. If your child feels safe knowing you are right there, you will notice that eventually he will leave your side and begin to explore on his own.
We have seen that the more a parent pushes one way, the child resists. So, stay close and enjoy this short time. In some cases, the child has a more intense need for a parent and may be exhibiting this behavior due to a particular reason — perhaps there is a new baby in the family, you’ve recently moved or someone close to him has passed away.
Still, it’s important to accept the inevitable — that your child is going through a particular clingy phase, but that eventually he will grow out of it. We recommend taking it easy, not pushing too much and being patient. It all works out all right in the end.
Please keep in mind that clingy behavior does not mean something is wrong with your child, or that you are doing something wrong. And resist the urge to compare your clingy one to your more confident older children. Clinginess is normal in children from age one to three, says childcare guru Dr. Benjamin Spock, and is probably instinctual, much like baby goats and sheep trail after their moms.
So next time your child is acting clingy, resist the urge to make a big deal out of it and instead do all you can to get him or her involved in other activities. If they are busy and happy, then before you know it the clinginess will be nothing more than a distant memory. In years to come — say the teenage years when they may not even want to look at you — you might even miss it!
The information in the article is not intended to substitute for the medical expertise and advice of your healthcare provider. We encourage you to discuss any decisions about treatment or care with an appropriate healthcare provider.
